Because using your girlfriend as a pillow is just better. #cozy #happy #mylove
Because high times with Applesauce. #bff #faded #happy
My bff has the coolest shit ever. #tinypipe #highsociety #bfftime 👭
🌻🍃 #lazydaze #sheltie #itshot
when your world ends, it will do so
quietly. there will be no breaking glass,
no slamming doors. it will seem much
more like a forfeit than a war. every
sigh that escapes your body will dance
in the wind just like the white flag that it is.
you will look in the mirror and see in your
eyes the quiet desperation of someone who
is determined to continue living even after
their life is over.
- Fortesa Latifi - when your world ends, your insides will be the only thing on fire (via madgirlf)

(via madgirlf)

Posted 21 Jul
go collapse in your mother’s lap
it is the safest place to fall apart
- Fortesa Latifi. (via ajeebinsaan)

(Source: madgirlf, via madgirlf)

Posted 21 Jul
I’ve been listening to the same album for two weeks and the CD is a little scratched but yesterday was the first time in four years I didn’t speed while I was driving
I think I’m slowing down
my heart doesn’t fight with my rib cage anymore
its calmed down
settled like a pearl in a jewelry box
we dissected a pig in lab the other day and all I could think was has anyone ever realized before that lungs look like butterfly wings
I pictured my own fluttering when I breathe
coffee is in all of my poems but the truth is I’ve started to drink more tea
the honey drips from my spoon and onto my lips and if anyone kissed me, they’d get stuck for a millisecond before they pulled away sticky and just a little wet
I think they might like it
they’d feel my lips even after I was gone and this is taking into consideration that the kind of kisses I give these days are the kind that someone would want to feel after I’m gone
my dad told me to think of my life as a tree
honey you have to cut the branches that weigh you down
and I did
and guess what
I’m thinking of painting my nails a light blue like the sky in the morning
to be honest I only know the sky is light blue in the morning because other people have told me
I’ve made it a rule to never open my eyes before 9 and I usually don’t shut them before 12
last week in class my teacher said what age would you be if you didn’t know what age you were
and one kid said I feel like I’m 65, my back hurts
and another said I think I might be 7, I still love to color outside of the lines
and when she asked me I said I feel exactly the age I am
and I really do, I’m 20
and what that means is I’m an adult sometimes like when I remember to put in my retainers before bed or when I wash all the dishes before they start to spill out of the sink and onto the counters
but then sometimes I fuck up for lack of a better term
actually, let me think of a better term
I mess around, that’s what I do
last Friday I licked the top of my hand and drizzled tiny pebbles of salt onto it,
poured tequila into my mouth and bit into a lime
laughed with my friends and the world was spinning a little but I loved it
a boy dropped me off at home at 4:30 in the morning and when I woke up a couple of hours later I still smelled like tequila
I think I like myself best a little off balance
- Fortesa Latifi - I Like Myself Best a Little Off Balance (via madgirlf)

(via madgirlf)

Posted 21 Jul
I’m 21 and what this means is I reference disasters in my love poems. Hurricane Katrina as a metaphor. Genocide as a backdrop. I’m 21 and what this means is that I never cut my hair because my hands are lonely. What this means is I don’t mind the knots. I’m 21 and what this means is the world terrifies me. What this means is I don’t understand health insurance and sometimes I forget to feed myself. I’m 21 and what this means is I’m still young enough to die young. What this means is I leave chipped nail polish on my toes all the way from fall to spring. What this means is I believe in anything ethereal like friendship and love and Harry Potter. What this means is when the boy I‘m kissing is nice to his mother I think I may love him. I’m 21 and what this means is I sleep in my best friend’s bed when I’m sad. What this means is we make each other coffee on long days. What this means is there are a lot of long days. I’m 21 and what this means is everything is beautiful and everything is tragic and sometimes I can’t tell one from the other. What this means is sometimes I laugh while I cry. What this means is I’m trying.
- Fortesa Latifi - what this means is i’m trying (via madgirlf)
Posted 21 Jul
I wasn’t your first and we both know this. She had your heart before you knew my name. He had mine before I ever looked twice at you. Most of your stories have her in them and it makes me wince but they’re coming less often and this is something to smile about. When you remember that you met him back when he was the one holding my hand, you try to remember what he looked like but you can’t because it didn’t matter then.
They were first and we both know this. They were the first ones to make us say this is what everyone has been talking about. They were here and they were everything and now they’re not and we are something. I want to thank her for leaving you so softly. You want to punch him for leaving me in pieces.
You weren’t my first and we both know this but that’s okay because maybe I learned all the hard lessons with him. Maybe you learned how to love with her.
I guess what I’m trying to say is there are so many different kinds of love in this world. He was my shot of tequila on an empty stomach and she was your monsoon after the sky forgot how to cry for the entire summer but you’re my bed waiting for me after a long day and I’m your glass of red wine that warms you from the inside.
So what if they were first? This doesn’t make me sad anymore. We both promise to do better this time and I finally believe us.
- Fortesa Latifi - second (via madgirlf)
Posted 21 Jul
1. You will look for love in all the wrong places. In a pack of cigarettes. Underneath the tires of an airplane. In the arms of a boy who is scared of your fire. In the eyes of one who lights it. Between the pages of an encyclopedia. At the bottom of the wine bottle. In the concrete tunnels beneath your city. This is okay. It’s called trial and error for a reason. Hint: it’s a lot closer than you think.
2. When you find out who you are, your first instinct will be to fight- to rip the poetry from your veins and tear your notebooks into shreds. You will do these things and the words will still come pouring out of you. Give them a home.
3. You will kiss boys who are mean to you. You’ll even think you love a few of them and it’ll take years but when you finally leave, they’ll think they love you too. Keep walking.
4. When you get your first F in college, you will drive to your parents’ house and cry in their laps. Your grandmother will call you stupid for crying over a test and remind you that her sister is dying in the next state over. Kiss her cheek and sleep with your door open. It helps with her nightmares.
5. You will go back to someone who treated you badly and he will treat you badly again. It will not kill you. Don’t you give him that power. Your name means warrior, means fortress, means determination. Cry it out, scream from your rooftop, fill an entire notebook with curse words. Then keep going.
6. You will walk into some places and feel the weight of the world slip from your shoulders. These are called safe places. They are few and far between. Covet them.
7. You will get drunk and scream at your ex-boyfriend on your birthday. Your friends will join you. This is how you know you will never let them go.
8. You will experience moments of sublime happiness. Tiny glimpses of ecstasy. They are meteors. Bask in their light.
9. It will take you 20 years to learn to love yourself. Some days, you will forget how. On these days, call your mother. Go home and look at old pictures. Drink tea with lots of honey in it. Spend time with people who remind you who you are. Be patient with yourself. It gets easier with every passing year.
10. You will fight the good fight. And sometimes you will lose. Sometimes you’ll even think that you have no fight left. On nights like this, watch a silly movie and go to sleep. Wake up and put your gloves back on.
- Fortesa Latifi - the poet talks to herself. and to you. and you. and you. (via madgirlf)
Posted 21 Jul